we will all still be friends

It is 7:01 am. I slept in. But I am still gonna blog before my babies get up.
Last night We had a shower for my lovely bestie Ashley. It was awesome. She seemed so happy. We ate delicious food, drank some wine and chatted. There truly is nothing like a good girls night to renergizre your soul.
I love my girls!
It was a spectacular night.
I cannot wait till the next one!

“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”

I am going to keep this short, Courtney wants Tim Hortons and he says he is too sick to go get it. I guess I need to head to timmy's.

I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Much love,

Jessica

the sun still shines

The Rainy Day

The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the moldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.

My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the moldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast
And the days are dark and dreary.

Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.

(Written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)


What a great poem for a day like today!

Some rainy days are great, you can curl up with a good book under a warm blanket and drift the day away. But today does not feel like that kind of rainy day.
This kinda rainy day is no fun for anyone.
You can't get outside and enjoy the beauty of March in the Ottawa valley!(and in my case if you have two active boys aged 4 and 2 coming to spend the day with us, this could be a problem!)
The house feel dark and more drafty.
The lack of sun makes you feel a little low.
Rainy days can easily get you down.

But I love how this poem reminds you the sun is soon to come, 'behind the clouds is the sun still shining'.

I hope you all have a wonderful day, despite the rain!

Much love,

Jessica

learn to enjoy my journey

Do you ever have those weeks where you feel like there is so much to do and just not enough time to do it all in?
That is my week.
So many things to do!
Where will I find the time?

In the past I would write everything on a list and just try to power through the list as quickly as possible. I have this lingering fear of forgetting to do something that is required. The fear overwhelms me so much that I try to do everything quickly so I know I don't forget anything. I always ended up feeling extremely overwhelmed and exhausted. I would end up breaking down and disappearing in a angry/sad state.

But this week will be different.
I am going to really try this week to take it one step at a time.
One day at a time.
One task at a time.
No worries, no stress, no power lists.

Hopefully this will allow me to stay relaxed and calm. Maybe I will even enjoy the beauty of the journey. I know how much I love the feeling of completed tasks, I need to enjoy the adventure to get there.


"Enjoy the journey, enjoy the moment and quit worrying about winning or losing."

I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Much love,

Jessica

watching the habit unfold

I have been feeling a bit of "blogger's block" lately. I don't know what to write about. But I do know that writing is very important for my happiness, so even if it isn't that great or it isn't very long, I need to write. So bare with me today's blog might be a little scattered and simple.

I am trying this new thing.
No alarm clock.
I am going to let my body wake up naturally. I want to train my body to wake up at the appropriate time I need. With this, we have a few days/weeks of adjustment, so I woke a bit late. I got up at 5:45. I like to wake up at 5:00 am, so I guess not bad.
Well after showering and dressing it was already 6:15, I heard the wee ladies. They woke up earlier today. I got them dressed and ready and came down stairs. I thought I would turn on some "Caillou" while I got breakfast ready, since I did not have a chance to prep myself this morning.

We turned on the TV and it was on "The Early show". I caught the segment on Charlie Sheen and his latest episode. He posted a web video last night. He looked liked death and sounded lost and mixed up.
He is making me feel sad.

I know his comments and episodes are slightly humorous to a sober mind, don't get me wrong, I laughed at the recent SNL skit about Charlie Sheen and his craziness. But to him I think what he is saying and doing all makes sense to him.
It is terrible to watch, but unfortunately it is like a train wreck, you just can't seem to turn away.

If you have ever had the responsibility to be in a relationship (child, parent, friend or partner) with a narcissistic addict I think you will relate to the sadness that is felt as you watch someone become slightly insane due to addiction. It feels all to familiar. Watching someone lose themselves in addiction is a terribly painful thing that in most cases you can't do anything about.

Watching Sheen in the public eye spiral to complete lose of self due to addiction is awful and painful. I truly hope it stops soon.

~ You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living until the escape becomes the habit. ~
I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Much love,

Jessica

My spirit is grey

I haven't really been blogging much this week, just like last week. I have been sleeping in. I truly do hate sleeping in. I never feel any more rested, if anything I am grumpier. I am going to try my best ot not let sleeping in happen next week.
But this has been a tough week.
My babies are sick.
They have croup.
I thought croup was a very serious thing, it sounds serious, but it isn't as frightening as it sounds. It can become quite bad if fevers start to spike and breathing becomes laboured, so we have to keep a very close eye on them. Right now they just have a deep (seems to be painful) cough, a sore throat and lots of mucous.
Mucus is awful when you are a wee gaper. You have not developed the skills of blowing your nose or spitting out mucous you have coughed up, so you just end up swallowing it.  When they swallow it the choke a little. It is awful (and sometimes scary) to hear.
My poor wee things.
And on top of it all, I am sick now too. I don't have croup (I don't think adults can get croup?! but I have a nasty cold)
Bah!
I am slowly realized that babies/kids are sponges for germs. This is our first true winter with kids and I have been sick more this winter then any other.
This morning I feel like a bag of crap.
And it is Saturday, which mean I have to work in the city all day today. I am not really looking forward to that. But I will say, working at the spa all day is hands down easier then working with my babies. (though I still love staying with my girls better then working anywhere else :)

With the way I am feeling today, I am glad I woke up to blog, writing always makes me feel a little better but I don't have anything enlightening or interesting to talk about this morning.
I am slightly grumpy and my throat hurts a ton. So basically, I am being a major whiner. 

I am also feeling bummed because I missed one on my best girlfriend's birthday dinners last night.
I am glad I stayed home to with my little ladies, if I left them I would have been worried all night. Also I am glad I stayed home for me, as I felt crappy and went to bed at 8:30 pm. But I am sad I missed it. I was looking forward to celebrating her 26th birthday with her and seeing my friends. I hope they all had a good time :)
Oh, the life of a mom!
I might as well get used to it, right? I don't always get what I want or get to do what I want anymore. I have two little ones who come first.

Nature always wears the colors of the spirit.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson


I better change my spirit a bit today. If the quote speaks the truth, I feel I am looking a little grey.

I wish you a colorful day!

Much love,
Jessica

Intuition

Intuition on a winter morning

the cool air fills my lungs
travel down to my belly
It recharges
fills me with fresh clarity
I trust you,
I say
I will listen to you
believe in you
love your choice
how can I not?
you know me best


I hope you have a wonderful day!

Much Love

Jessica

They pushed furthur and allowed life to open up for me.

This weekend we had a discussion about what it would be like to have had the childhood of my grandparents, growing up in Canada in war time.

What would life have been like with no men around (as most were gone to war)? especially in a time that so many women relyed on there husband for support and strength.
How hard would it have been to watch the man you love, you precious son or your father go half way across the world, maybe to never return?
What it was like to live off rations? To not be able to get whatever you needed, whenever you needed it. To sometimes not have enough to feed your children. How would that feel? As a parent and as a child.
It had to have been hard for children to be forced to become an adults with adult responsibilities so early in life. It must have been equally hard for mothers, to stay strong for their children and allow then abandon their childhood.

Life in my grandparents 'childhood era' could not have been easy.

It makes me feel a little guilty for the complaining I do. I actually makes me understand the looks my grandma gives me when I am complaining about my life. Almost like I can see in her eyes that she just wants to shake me and tell me that what I am worried about is really nothing.

In comparison to their lives, my life it like a walk in the park. Though my husband and I do not have alot of money we have more then enough to provide for our children. We don't have to save rations to buy sugar or butter, we can easily provide that to ourselves and families. Even as children we had everything we needed. We have a warm house, clothes and food and have always been provided with that.

We have become slightly spoiled.

I think when I feel entitlement (that seems to be common in my generation), I should remember my grandparents and my great grandparents and what it was like for them. The struggles they went through to simply provide for their children or to have a carefree childhood. What life was like when you really didn't know what was coming next.

I am truly blessed to still have most of my grandparents still around. I think I need to hear their stories more and grasp just what it was like to grow up when they did. 
The struggles and challenges that they endured were endured for me. They pushed through to make a better life for their children, who then did the same for their own children.
I am the byproduct of that.
I am generations down the line from people who conqured the challeneges and endured hardtimes to make life easier for their offspring.
Thank you for that. My life is blessed because of what you did.

The hardship of life challenge our spirits and allow us to be stronger. They push to go furthur and change the way it is.


I wish you all a wonderful day!

Much Love

Jessica