It has been a stressful two weeks.
I have been distancing myself from everything.
Keeping my life arms length.
Keeping my space.
Staying in my protective bubble.
Locked away from life and its experiences.
I am simply going through the motions.
It is unhelathy.
It makes me feel angry, frustrated and lost.
I needed a moment to snap me back. Bring me back to my life.
And it happened last night.
I was driving home after running some errands.
I was in the car alone. Hungry and grumpy.
I was frowning and feeling sorry for myself.
Then it hit me.
I talk big and read all these quotes and books on how to be the person I want to be. It has been drilled in my head that I have to power to be who I want.
I can put out into the world what I want to recieve back.
I can manifest happiness.
I know these truths but I do not know the practice of these truths.
and the practice of this honest life is what is needed.
Not just the knowledge but the life lived in pure truth and happiness.
It only took a moment, but it was as if someone layed it out for me.
The red carpet, leading me to it.
Simplicity.
It is just that.
It is not complex or difficult to achieve.
It is a matter of stopping the cycle of over analysing and smile.
Simply smile.
I started to laugh.
Loud and happy giggles emerged.
I felt light, excited and I smiled. Hard.
I told myself that if I just kept on smiling I could feel happy all the time.
I could 'fake it till I make it'.
It helped.
It made it ok.
It made the stress go away. For that moment, I was light. I was free.
I was smiling.
Breath in, Breath out
one minute at a time.
I choose to be happy.
I choose to smile.
I wish you all a wondeful winter solstice. I will be celebrating tonight with some great friends.
Food, drinks and a night together is exacly what is needed on this stormy winter night.
I will try and write again before christmas, but if not, I wish you all a Merry Christmas.
Remeber to smile.
Much love,
Jessica
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