Where we start

These last few weeks have been intensely life changing.

So many moments in which I felt my spirit grow.

So many times I knew that my soul was basking in light, and drinking it all in.

I have forged a new pathway for my journey.

A pathway that leads to life I want  to live.

It has been hectic and intense time, filled with frustration, tears, smiles and joy.

It has been exhilarating and exhausting.  

It has been true and honest. It feels completely right.

To begin, I got great news.

The biopsy results came back. Everything is ok.

Deep sigh of relief.

and with that came a new outlook.

The fear put me in a ‘new space’.

A space of gratitude and joy for the moments I take for granted.

The deblitating fear was a a blessing.

A blessing  and a reminder to see my life as an ever-changing tapestry of joyful moments

and to allow myself to grateful for all I have been given.

I also was able to achieve a dream of mine.

We were given the amazing opportunity to move into my grandparents home.

A home I have loved forever.

A home that holds so many of my memories.

Not only is this now my grandparents home and the home my mother and uncles were raised in, but is also becomes our home.

I get to share the honor of calling this space 'ours'.

This is the home that we will grow in.

The home that will nurture my family.

These walls hold the our stories.

The love that was made here by my family.

All of us have roots here.

Memories here.

This house holds deep within in it the giggles and play of children,

my mother and her brothers, 

myself, my sisters and my cousins, 

as we would have ran down the halls in joy.

Loving and laughing.

Basking in the happiness of our innocence and contentment.

I feel this as I see my kids laugh and play here.

Content and whole.

Innocent and  joyful in way that only children can be.

My children know this house holds fun. 

This house holds happiness. 

They sense the joy here.

Their giggles and laughs join the ones from children past who have called this place home.   

This house holds love. 

The love my grandma and grandpa cultivated, deep rooted love. 

Strong and powerful love that held this family close.

I feel that love like a warm embrace.

A hug and a squeeze.

Keeping me safe.

Keeping my family strong.

I know that the presence of their love is here and is always around me.

I feel it in this house.

This is the house we will grow old in.

Where we will raise our children.

Where we will live our lives to their fullest potential.

I have been blessed to have the opportunity to live here.

In this sacred space.

In the place where it all began.

Home is where one starts from

-T.S Elliot

Much love,

Jessica