I was thinking last night, I am a lucky person. I have such great people in my life who do so much for me. I do not feel like I give them enough credit or recognition.
Also it can be hard for me to express myself fully while speaking to people. I fand I get all flustered and mix my words up. Writing is much easier.
So it made me think, I am going to use my blog (since it appears like people are actually reading this :) as way to let the people in my life know how much I love and appreciate them.
Part one is going to be about my mom and Rick.
My mom and rick are tow of the most giving people I have met. I really don't know where i would be with out them. They are a huge support system for Court and I. They are so helpful to us and have been over this last year especially as we adjust to being new parents.
They are always here to help us if it means helping to put up the Christmas lights or ta king the girls for a few hours. They will always be there and have proved that. There is this wonderful sense of comfort knowing that there is is someone in the world who is always there for you no matter what.
I can be a very difficult person to deal with at times, but they are always calm and understanding with me even if they think I am being crazy or even if I am being quite rude. They have accepted Courtney as one of there own children and welcome him into our family so seamlessly, that makes me so happy. They also make a great support system for court when I have gone little loco, He calls them to say "Jess has gone a little crazy again" and they know what he means... I know that is nice for him. Because sometimes it can be hard to talk me down, and with the help of my mom usually it doesn't take long for me to realize I am being irrational.
They love the girls so much and love to spend time with them. They never see them as a burden. They understand that court and I need a break sometimes and are willing to take my munchkins for a sleep over every now and then. Like tonight they have decided not to go out new years eve, they want to take the girls so we can have a relaxed evening with friends. We didn't even ask them, they just knew that we could use it.
I really do appreciate their love and attentiveness to us. I really don't think I get to tell them enough how much we appreciate everything they do for us.
I love you guys tons and tons!
Much love
Jessica
ps. mom, I know you read my blog, so if you are reading this let Rick read it :)
Friday, December 31, 2010
Day 3 and Day 4
Not going so well :(
Day two ended up being a write off. I had a food melt down in the afternoon and scarfed down way to much food, then it continued on to the evening.
Day 3, again was a complete meltdown. I felt guilty for the day before and ate too much again.
Day 3 as well had no exercise... I have been exhausted over the last 2 days and have trouble getting up to exercise. It probably has to do with all the junk food.
Today is Day 4, It has not started off awesome. Again I was super duper tired, and could not wake up till the babies woke up at 8 am, there for no exercise yet. I had a anxiety meltdown this morning with court and the babies. It was just one of those days were I felt like there was too much to do and not enough time to do it all in. But court was patient, he picked up coffee and breakfast sandwiches to cheer me up and once we ate and put the babies down for a nap, we cleaned up together and organized a plan to divide the housework so I do not feel so overwhelmed. So it is now 11 am and the babies are still napping and i have a much better outlook on today.
I don't really have the energy to make a meal plan and since it new years eve I know I am going to eat more treats tonight, So todays plan is to keep it a healthy as possible.
I am going to try and go out for a nice long walk with the babies this afternoon, for my exercises. If I have time I will try and to do my biggest loser exercises.
I hope everyone has a wonderful new years eve! We are "sans les bebe" tonight...So it should be fun :)
Much love,
Jessica
Day two ended up being a write off. I had a food melt down in the afternoon and scarfed down way to much food, then it continued on to the evening.
Day 3, again was a complete meltdown. I felt guilty for the day before and ate too much again.
Day 3 as well had no exercise... I have been exhausted over the last 2 days and have trouble getting up to exercise. It probably has to do with all the junk food.
Today is Day 4, It has not started off awesome. Again I was super duper tired, and could not wake up till the babies woke up at 8 am, there for no exercise yet. I had a anxiety meltdown this morning with court and the babies. It was just one of those days were I felt like there was too much to do and not enough time to do it all in. But court was patient, he picked up coffee and breakfast sandwiches to cheer me up and once we ate and put the babies down for a nap, we cleaned up together and organized a plan to divide the housework so I do not feel so overwhelmed. So it is now 11 am and the babies are still napping and i have a much better outlook on today.
I don't really have the energy to make a meal plan and since it new years eve I know I am going to eat more treats tonight, So todays plan is to keep it a healthy as possible.
I am going to try and go out for a nice long walk with the babies this afternoon, for my exercises. If I have time I will try and to do my biggest loser exercises.
I hope everyone has a wonderful new years eve! We are "sans les bebe" tonight...So it should be fun :)
Much love,
Jessica
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Day two- the new regime :)
I am blogging in the morning today. I am going to write out what I plan on eating and exercising today. I hope that it will keep me accountable.
Exercise:
Yoga. I have already done 20 minutes. Maybe another 20 minutes later today. I am in a yoga mood
Walk with the girls in their stroller. at least 30 minutes.
Food:
Breakfast:
2 pieces of whole wheat toast with almond butter
OJ
Coffee with a little soy milk
Snack:
Yogurt and granola
water
Lunch:
Bean salad
Pop chips with hummus
Water
Snack:
banana
water
Dinner:
mini mushroom, roasted red peppers, and sun dried tomato pizza
salad
water
Snack:
I am heading to a girl friends house for a little get together tonight.
I will allow my self 2 glasses of wine, and a few snacks but I am going to try and stay near veggies.
Exercise:
Yoga. I have already done 20 minutes. Maybe another 20 minutes later today. I am in a yoga mood
Walk with the girls in their stroller. at least 30 minutes.
Food:
Breakfast:
2 pieces of whole wheat toast with almond butter
OJ
Coffee with a little soy milk
Snack:
Yogurt and granola
water
Lunch:
Bean salad
Pop chips with hummus
Water
Snack:
banana
water
Dinner:
mini mushroom, roasted red peppers, and sun dried tomato pizza
salad
water
Snack:
I am heading to a girl friends house for a little get together tonight.
I will allow my self 2 glasses of wine, and a few snacks but I am going to try and stay near veggies.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Home, when I am alone with you.
Court introduced me to a song this week by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros (They have a fantastic sound, you should check them out :) . It is called Home.
The song had lyrics that I really related to at that moment. We were listening to his mp3 player in the car on the drive home from a crazy busy family dinner, and a line in the song came on the stereo...
"Home, let me go home, home is whenever I am with you"
I loved that line. At that moment it spoke exactly how I was feeling.
Life can be so crazy sometimes (especially over Christmas :) but I feel so comfortable with my family. Home is when I am with them.
Life can wind me up and make life chaotic but when I am alone with my little family, I am at home.
Sometime it can even be in a crowded crazy room and I have the girls in my lap or court is sitting beside me, all have to do is look in their eyes, and you have those moments of being the only people in the room, I am back home again and feel at peace.
Much love,
Jessica
The song had lyrics that I really related to at that moment. We were listening to his mp3 player in the car on the drive home from a crazy busy family dinner, and a line in the song came on the stereo...
"Home, let me go home, home is whenever I am with you"
I loved that line. At that moment it spoke exactly how I was feeling.
Life can be so crazy sometimes (especially over Christmas :) but I feel so comfortable with my family. Home is when I am with them.
Life can wind me up and make life chaotic but when I am alone with my little family, I am at home.
Sometime it can even be in a crowded crazy room and I have the girls in my lap or court is sitting beside me, all have to do is look in their eyes, and you have those moments of being the only people in the room, I am back home again and feel at peace.
Much love,
Jessica
Day one
When I was on Weight Watchers 2 years ago, I lost 25 pounds and was down to a weight that I felt the most comfortable at, then I got pregnant with twins.
I want to feel a little more comfortable in my own skin again. I am beginning my journey to feeling a little more comfortable in the new me.
I am going about losing weight in a much different way then before. Last time I lost the weight I did weight watchers point system. I basically switched my food addiction to a "counting points" addiction. I never actually battled the real demon; My addiction to eating too much and eating unhealthy foods. I am going to conquer that demon this time.
I am changing my though process with food. I am going to eat much more naturally and logically. I am going to attempt to eat more often and less food, and drink lots and lots of water. No calorie or point tracking. Just being aware of the food I put into my mouth. Not just stuff my face with whatever is easiest. I have no excuses. I am able to find time to make my children well balanced and healthy meals. I will now have to focus on including my own meals in the prep work.
I know that with losing weight, not only do you change your eating patterns but you have to change your exercise patterns. I don't love to exercise in the conventional way (aka. the gym). So I am going to be creative and workout with the Wii fit and biggest loser exercises, Go on more long walks with the girls and do much more yoga.
There is one thing that I did love about Weight Watchers and that was the online blogs. You could go on daily and make yourself accountable for your food and and exercise logging the food you ate and amount you exercised. I loved that! and it really kept me motivated each day, So I am just going to keep myself a workout/food journal on my blog. That may bore some of you who read this, but it is much needed for me :)
Today was Day one.
Excercise log:
Unfortunately I did not wake up in time to do my exercise before the girls woke up.
So no exercise today, I have come to know that I cannot exercise at night.
I am a morning exerciser :)
but tomorrow I will do yoga and biggest loser exercises before the girls wake up.
Food log:
Breakfast:
one piece of whole wheat toast
poached egg
one coffee with one sugar
*I am happy with this meal, but I am going to stop with the sugar in my coffee...
Snack:
orange juice
costco food samples...
*we went to costco today...I didn't eat to much...but i really like the samples :)
Lunch:
Chicken club wrap with Swiss Chalet sauce
garden salad with italian dressing
a few of court's fries...maybe 10?
*not a bad lunch. I was impressed that I choose the salad instead of fries and did not overly regret it :)
Snack:
missed an afternoon snack. It was abusy afternoon. I will do better tomorrow.
Dinner:
Turkey meatloaf
Steamed sweet potatoes
Steamed brocolli
*I made the meatloaf from the recipe book Court gave me for christmas. It was delish!
Snack:
Small piece of almond biscotti
peppermint tea
banana with almond butter
* I do most of my overeatting in the evening so this snack wasn't too bad.
I want to feel a little more comfortable in my own skin again. I am beginning my journey to feeling a little more comfortable in the new me.
I am going about losing weight in a much different way then before. Last time I lost the weight I did weight watchers point system. I basically switched my food addiction to a "counting points" addiction. I never actually battled the real demon; My addiction to eating too much and eating unhealthy foods. I am going to conquer that demon this time.
I am changing my though process with food. I am going to eat much more naturally and logically. I am going to attempt to eat more often and less food, and drink lots and lots of water. No calorie or point tracking. Just being aware of the food I put into my mouth. Not just stuff my face with whatever is easiest. I have no excuses. I am able to find time to make my children well balanced and healthy meals. I will now have to focus on including my own meals in the prep work.
I know that with losing weight, not only do you change your eating patterns but you have to change your exercise patterns. I don't love to exercise in the conventional way (aka. the gym). So I am going to be creative and workout with the Wii fit and biggest loser exercises, Go on more long walks with the girls and do much more yoga.
There is one thing that I did love about Weight Watchers and that was the online blogs. You could go on daily and make yourself accountable for your food and and exercise logging the food you ate and amount you exercised. I loved that! and it really kept me motivated each day, So I am just going to keep myself a workout/food journal on my blog. That may bore some of you who read this, but it is much needed for me :)
Today was Day one.
Excercise log:
Unfortunately I did not wake up in time to do my exercise before the girls woke up.
So no exercise today, I have come to know that I cannot exercise at night.
I am a morning exerciser :)
but tomorrow I will do yoga and biggest loser exercises before the girls wake up.
Food log:
Breakfast:
one piece of whole wheat toast
poached egg
one coffee with one sugar
*I am happy with this meal, but I am going to stop with the sugar in my coffee...
Snack:
orange juice
costco food samples...
*we went to costco today...I didn't eat to much...but i really like the samples :)
Lunch:
Chicken club wrap with Swiss Chalet sauce
garden salad with italian dressing
a few of court's fries...maybe 10?
*not a bad lunch. I was impressed that I choose the salad instead of fries and did not overly regret it :)
Snack:
missed an afternoon snack. It was abusy afternoon. I will do better tomorrow.
Dinner:
Turkey meatloaf
Steamed sweet potatoes
Steamed brocolli
*I made the meatloaf from the recipe book Court gave me for christmas. It was delish!
Snack:
Small piece of almond biscotti
peppermint tea
banana with almond butter
* I do most of my overeatting in the evening so this snack wasn't too bad.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Could I be the biggest loser?
My wonderful husband Courtney spoiled me this Christmas. He tends to do that. I can't really complain, Sometimes he is a procrastinator and leaves it all to the last minute or on rare occasions misses the holiday all together but in the end he loves to spoil. It is nice, I am not going to lie :)
So, this year I got some lovely things, new perfume, a pink scarf and a beautiful picture frame from blackbird, a game for the Wii (family game night, super fun...so far I am the champ of Life :) and a whole bunch of "biggest loser" cookbooks and the biggest loser and fitness trainer Wii games.
Now the last gifts you may think are mean, sending me messages that maybe I need to lose weight. But what it tell me is that Court is listens to me and is trying to help me with my problem. Working out and finding healthy recipes to prepare when you have twin babies to take care is really hard!
I cannot get to the gym. There is just not enough time, with working 25 hours a week and the twins, I just barley have time to write this blog :) I want to get in shape again and feel healthy, so these Wii games are suppose to be my saving grace!
So I decide to start the biggest loser program today (why wait for the new year, today is a new day!) , at first I felt so silly jumping around my living room in my jammies and sports bra, but you know what, I ended up loving it!
I have totally privacy, I have Bob from the "Biggest loser" cheering me on and I do it on my own time. I woke up at 5:00 am to get in a work out, and now am relaxing before I go have my shower and wait for the babies to rise.
It is wonderful! I am so excited to get in shape again, even if the process is much different them I am used to. We all have to adapt to our situations right?
Now the next step is meal planning with all my great cookbooks. I think I will sit down and do that tonight after work! Wish me Luck :)
Much love,
Jessica
So, this year I got some lovely things, new perfume, a pink scarf and a beautiful picture frame from blackbird, a game for the Wii (family game night, super fun...so far I am the champ of Life :) and a whole bunch of "biggest loser" cookbooks and the biggest loser and fitness trainer Wii games.
Now the last gifts you may think are mean, sending me messages that maybe I need to lose weight. But what it tell me is that Court is listens to me and is trying to help me with my problem. Working out and finding healthy recipes to prepare when you have twin babies to take care is really hard!
I cannot get to the gym. There is just not enough time, with working 25 hours a week and the twins, I just barley have time to write this blog :) I want to get in shape again and feel healthy, so these Wii games are suppose to be my saving grace!
So I decide to start the biggest loser program today (why wait for the new year, today is a new day!) , at first I felt so silly jumping around my living room in my jammies and sports bra, but you know what, I ended up loving it!
I have totally privacy, I have Bob from the "Biggest loser" cheering me on and I do it on my own time. I woke up at 5:00 am to get in a work out, and now am relaxing before I go have my shower and wait for the babies to rise.
It is wonderful! I am so excited to get in shape again, even if the process is much different them I am used to. We all have to adapt to our situations right?
Now the next step is meal planning with all my great cookbooks. I think I will sit down and do that tonight after work! Wish me Luck :)
Much love,
Jessica
Friday, December 24, 2010
Resolutions?!
So it is only a week and a bit till New Years day (I know, I know I am already skipping over Christmas...but bear with me)
and all I can think about is.....
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS!
In previous years I tend to spend alot of time thinking about what I am going to change in the new year.
And the year is no different. Yesterday at work I was thinking about what I wanted to change about my life and myself come the new year (I am always thinking about change, I am Sagittarius, It is one of our may qualities, "To enjoy and crave change") and I had a list that felt a mile long.
It was kind of depressing. Thinking that I wanted to change so much about my life.
but you know what....
I am NOT going to try and change everything about myself because I think I could possibly be "better". I am who I am.
I am a loud, tornado like woman who can be grumpy sometimes (OK...alot of the time :) . I am a person who is selffish on occasion, and can be quite bull headed. I am highly sensitive and passionate about the things I care for. I can be bossy, overdemanding and overbearing but like I said earlier, that is me. I have always been like this.
So why do I expect that a new year will change that?
I am sure I am not the only one who is to over critical of themselves.
So Why do we do this to ourselves?
It feels like we are constantly trying to grow as people and change certain personalty traits, but at what point are we allowed to just be in the moment of who we are now. When can we just accept that this is me?
I do understand that we need a certain level of drive to change and excel as a person but maybe it is just a little too excessive. We are not perfect and our "negative" qualities make us who we are just as much a our "positive" qualities too.
So I concluded, I am only going to have one new year resolution this year, to smile and enjoy the moment more.
(and why wait, I might as well start today :)
Much love,
Jessica
PS. Merry Christmas Eve! I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season with family and friends! Enjoy every moment for what it is!
and all I can think about is.....
NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS!
In previous years I tend to spend alot of time thinking about what I am going to change in the new year.
And the year is no different. Yesterday at work I was thinking about what I wanted to change about my life and myself come the new year (I am always thinking about change, I am Sagittarius, It is one of our may qualities, "To enjoy and crave change") and I had a list that felt a mile long.
It was kind of depressing. Thinking that I wanted to change so much about my life.
but you know what....
I am NOT going to try and change everything about myself because I think I could possibly be "better". I am who I am.
I am a loud, tornado like woman who can be grumpy sometimes (OK...alot of the time :) . I am a person who is selffish on occasion, and can be quite bull headed. I am highly sensitive and passionate about the things I care for. I can be bossy, overdemanding and overbearing but like I said earlier, that is me. I have always been like this.
So why do I expect that a new year will change that?
I am sure I am not the only one who is to over critical of themselves.
So Why do we do this to ourselves?
It feels like we are constantly trying to grow as people and change certain personalty traits, but at what point are we allowed to just be in the moment of who we are now. When can we just accept that this is me?
I do understand that we need a certain level of drive to change and excel as a person but maybe it is just a little too excessive. We are not perfect and our "negative" qualities make us who we are just as much a our "positive" qualities too.
So I concluded, I am only going to have one new year resolution this year, to smile and enjoy the moment more.
(and why wait, I might as well start today :)
Much love,
Jessica
PS. Merry Christmas Eve! I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season with family and friends! Enjoy every moment for what it is!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Our wonderful christmas present!
I wanted to share one of the most special Christmas gift we got this year. My sister Amber (the budding photographer) did a photo shoot with a girls and gave us a CD and framed collage of all the pictures! It was quite beautiful!
These are the things that are special presents to me. The pictures that someday when my babies are teenage girls and out in the world, dating (oh how I dread that day!) and caring more about their social life then mommy and daddy, I can look back and remember how small and precious they were.
Thank you Amber, You are very Talented!
You have created wonderful memoriess for us!
These are the things that are special presents to me. The pictures that someday when my babies are teenage girls and out in the world, dating (oh how I dread that day!) and caring more about their social life then mommy and daddy, I can look back and remember how small and precious they were.
Thank you Amber, You are very Talented!
You have created wonderful memoriess for us!
This one is my favorite. I can't stop looking at it. It makes me smile every time! They just look so happy! From what I understand my Mom is lying on the floor below them throwing up ball and playing peekaboo to keep them laughing.
They look so cuddly here. These are the babies I know. Sisters who love each more then I will ever understand!
They look very mirror imaged here.
Oh, I how I gush too much about my girls. I guess I am allowed...I am their mom!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
The simpler days
Today I found a Christmas CD that I have not heard since I was in High School (Nsync's "Home for the Holidays"). It was my favorite in my teenage years. I listened to continually over the holidays. So I decided to put it on today, and the memories came flooding back.
Isn't it odd how music can bring back so many feelings and experiences?
I am feeling very nostalgic today. I am thinking of my high school girlfriends. Our fun over the holidays and Christmas. How we would talk about the future when we were married and with kids like it was so far away. I feeling of having the world in my hand and knowing I can do whatever what in the future. The parties and get togthers. The carefree life you live as a teenager.
I am thinking about my family. The simpleness of Christmas back then. You wake up at your parents house, open Santa's gift and they cart you around from house to house as you visit family members.
I am remembering how I would always call my boyfriend (now husband ;) in the morning to see what he got for Christmas. How we would wish each other a merry Christmas and hope to see each other in the next few days were over after all the family obligations.
I am missing those days today. I love the path my life has taken and the Christmas memories I will be creating for my children but I think I am mourning the loss of the "simpler days".
much love,
Jessica
Isn't it odd how music can bring back so many feelings and experiences?
I am feeling very nostalgic today. I am thinking of my high school girlfriends. Our fun over the holidays and Christmas. How we would talk about the future when we were married and with kids like it was so far away. I feeling of having the world in my hand and knowing I can do whatever what in the future. The parties and get togthers. The carefree life you live as a teenager.
I am thinking about my family. The simpleness of Christmas back then. You wake up at your parents house, open Santa's gift and they cart you around from house to house as you visit family members.
I am remembering how I would always call my boyfriend (now husband ;) in the morning to see what he got for Christmas. How we would wish each other a merry Christmas and hope to see each other in the next few days were over after all the family obligations.
I am missing those days today. I love the path my life has taken and the Christmas memories I will be creating for my children but I think I am mourning the loss of the "simpler days".
much love,
Jessica
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Shut up!
I am writing this as my daughters sit on the floor next to me. Usually I try to blog before the wake up instead of while they are downstairs, but they are in a whole other world right now and I am not part of it. I put on Baby Einstien "babies first sounds" DVD. I was getting tired of chasing them away from the computer cords telephone cords. Usually they are pretty good at ignoring the computer and phone but today it was all they wanted to play with. Not sure why...but really I am never sure why they do certain things.
So back to the DVD, literally they are glued to our television. To paint the picture of my living room right now, Chloe is sitting on the floor and Charlotte is lying down on her back beside her (I was changing Charlotte's diaper as the video was starting, she decided to stay on her back) The girls have literally not moved since the video started 10 minutes ago, and if you know my children then you know that this is something that does not happen very much at all :).
So as they have turned into TV zombie babies, questions pop in my head,
"Is this bad for them?" I mean is too much TV bad for them?
"Am I a bad mommy because I turn the TV on when I am tired?"
"Am I slowing their development by allowing them to watch TV so young?" ETC ETC....
All question to make me feel guilty and awful.
My self conscious being inside me is screaming "YOU ARE BEING A BAD MOM! YOUR RUINING YOUR CHILDREN" and I have to scream at it to SHUT UP!
Today is when I stop being hard on myself. My girls are happy, the video will be turned off when it is over then we can play together once I had my morning coffee/rant and all will be right in the world.
But that got me thinking, aren't we all a little too hard on ourselves? not just about babies and TV, but about everything.
I dare you today to tell your self conscious being to SHUT UP and be/do whatever you feel is right!
much love,
Jessica
So back to the DVD, literally they are glued to our television. To paint the picture of my living room right now, Chloe is sitting on the floor and Charlotte is lying down on her back beside her (I was changing Charlotte's diaper as the video was starting, she decided to stay on her back) The girls have literally not moved since the video started 10 minutes ago, and if you know my children then you know that this is something that does not happen very much at all :).
So as they have turned into TV zombie babies, questions pop in my head,
"Is this bad for them?" I mean is too much TV bad for them?
"Am I a bad mommy because I turn the TV on when I am tired?"
"Am I slowing their development by allowing them to watch TV so young?" ETC ETC....
All question to make me feel guilty and awful.
My self conscious being inside me is screaming "YOU ARE BEING A BAD MOM! YOUR RUINING YOUR CHILDREN" and I have to scream at it to SHUT UP!
Today is when I stop being hard on myself. My girls are happy, the video will be turned off when it is over then we can play together once I had my morning coffee/rant and all will be right in the world.
But that got me thinking, aren't we all a little too hard on ourselves? not just about babies and TV, but about everything.
I dare you today to tell your self conscious being to SHUT UP and be/do whatever you feel is right!
much love,
Jessica
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Christmas through my childrens eyes.
It is almost Christmas! Yeah :)
I love Christmas. It really is my mothers influence on me. My step father and her are into Christmas quite a bit. Every aspect of it, the decorating, the food, the presents and the family. Their love for the festive holiday has most definitely wore off on me. I am always so excited for Christmas, but I do find that I can get quite stressed as well. Always feeling like you are forgetting something and the giant to-do list the lurks on the fridge. It can be quite overwhelming at times.
But this year is a special year, It is our daughters first Christmas. If I though that I loved Christmas before, I had no idea what it was like to see Christmas through the eyes of my own children.
My girlies are still quite young and don't understand the whole concept of Christmas but watching them investigate the Christmas tree, play with the lights or even try and figure out what these wool socks hanging on the wall are, is enough just to make you burst with excitement.
It is hard to be stress and overwhelmed over the holiday season when I am blessed to have two wonderful Little babies who are so excited for all the new thing that they get to experience with Christmas.
Watching their reactions to the holidays really help to put in perspective what Christmas is all about.
Their wonder and awe of the decorations, the lights and jingle bell ornaments.
Their reactions to all the new food they get to try.
How they seem to notice the new smells of Christmas, that mix of pine trees, Christmas baking and oranges. And the extra time with all family and great friends; the time and love that seems to seep out of all family and friend gatherings is much more palpable with the babies. This is what seems to be important to my twins.
They are teaching me to follow suit.
Just like most things I have discovered since my twins have been born, I think they teach me much more then I teach them. :)
I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas season!
Happy holidays!
Much love,
Jessica
I love Christmas. It really is my mothers influence on me. My step father and her are into Christmas quite a bit. Every aspect of it, the decorating, the food, the presents and the family. Their love for the festive holiday has most definitely wore off on me. I am always so excited for Christmas, but I do find that I can get quite stressed as well. Always feeling like you are forgetting something and the giant to-do list the lurks on the fridge. It can be quite overwhelming at times.
My girlies are still quite young and don't understand the whole concept of Christmas but watching them investigate the Christmas tree, play with the lights or even try and figure out what these wool socks hanging on the wall are, is enough just to make you burst with excitement.
It is hard to be stress and overwhelmed over the holiday season when I am blessed to have two wonderful Little babies who are so excited for all the new thing that they get to experience with Christmas.
Watching their reactions to the holidays really help to put in perspective what Christmas is all about.
Their wonder and awe of the decorations, the lights and jingle bell ornaments.
Their reactions to all the new food they get to try.
How they seem to notice the new smells of Christmas, that mix of pine trees, Christmas baking and oranges. And the extra time with all family and great friends; the time and love that seems to seep out of all family and friend gatherings is much more palpable with the babies. This is what seems to be important to my twins.
They are teaching me to follow suit.
Just like most things I have discovered since my twins have been born, I think they teach me much more then I teach them. :)
I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas season!
Happy holidays!
Much love,
Jessica
Sunday, December 12, 2010
I am back :)
I have really been feeling a lack of "creative flow" lately. I haven't wanted to write in my journal, or blog. I have stopped with my knitting projects, It has been quite difficult to create new yoga classes and I have even found that my playtime with the twins has been lack luster at least. I have been in quite a slump, and I hate slumps. Without a way to channel my creativity, I find I get super stressed and worried about everything!
But last night Court, the twins and I headed out to Ottawa south to visit with our wonderful family. I was so nice to have a change of scenery and enjoy great company. It was a nice way to attempt a "de-slumping".
If seeing wonderful people and great conversation wasn't enough, My sister in law Care, gave me my belated birthday gift. It was a handmade journal. It is beautiful and unique. I was surprised to have sudden thoughts of what I was going to write in this wonderful piece of homemade greatness.
As soon as we got home this morning, and the girls had their lunch and were down for nap, I went upstairs and wrote. It felt great! I feel like I am back!
It is always so surprising how the simple things can really change your perspective on life.
But last night Court, the twins and I headed out to Ottawa south to visit with our wonderful family. I was so nice to have a change of scenery and enjoy great company. It was a nice way to attempt a "de-slumping".
If seeing wonderful people and great conversation wasn't enough, My sister in law Care, gave me my belated birthday gift. It was a handmade journal. It is beautiful and unique. I was surprised to have sudden thoughts of what I was going to write in this wonderful piece of homemade greatness.
As soon as we got home this morning, and the girls had their lunch and were down for nap, I went upstairs and wrote. It felt great! I feel like I am back!
It is always so surprising how the simple things can really change your perspective on life.
Friday, October 29, 2010
She's crafty?
Can I be crafty?
I want to be :) I have all these idea's and projects bubbling in my little brain wanting to emerge and produce beautiful things...but I am still waiting for my venue to be crafty....
Over the last year, my crafty side is coming to the surface much more rapidly. I got my grandma to teach me how to knit (thanks grandma, I have alot to learn from her, she is definitely the most crafty lady I know!)
I also have been attending workshops at Blackbird with Emily and Colleen (Two more super crafty people I know!) and have been loving creating beautiful things. Most times my projects end up looking "just OK", and I do result that in the fact that I am far cry from a perfectionist.
I just attended a workshop this week, we were making wire-wrapped jewellery. I was told that this was the craft for me, the less perfection the better! I was stoaked. Well, it was true, the more laid back you were the cooler your projects looked. I loved my final product!
I realized that I can be a crafty lady, I just need to find a craft venue that allows me to just let the environment create the art. Nothing that requires precise skill :)
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
My body
My body is my own.
Mine to respect.
Why do I disregard your being?
I am now here for you,
My acceptance is yours.
I am ready now.
Mine to respect.
Why do I disregard your being?
I am now here for you,
My acceptance is yours.
I am ready now.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
I remember why I don't stay up late....
So we have some great friends home for a few days from BC. They are wondeful people and we really miss seeing them all the time, so while they are here we love to spend lots of time with them. Conviently their parents live next door to us and that is where they are staying.
So last night they had a little shindig to get all the friends together and have a good time. We of course went :)
We took the twins with us, which was awesome. They were rockstars! They played for a while, ate, then cuddled with whomever wanted to cuddle and went to bed in their playpen with out a fuss. It was fantastic!
So since my babies were doing so well, I though "I don't need to rush home...I am just going to enjoy the company of my wondeful friends" and I did!
I think I might have pulled a abdominal muscle from laughing so hard, It was just a really fun night.
But needless to say, it did come to end. The babies woke up a little scared at 2 am in a new place, so the three of us headed back home. I got them back to sleep, and attempted to sleep myself. It was not easy at all! With the noise of the still ongoing party next door and the noise of my husband (who, god bless him, was trying to be quiet when he came home) I did not get very much sleep at all!
I finally fell asleep around 3:30 am, it felt wonderful. but my girls were not going to make it easy for me! Not 3 hours later were they up and ready for the day. They decided that today was going to be an early day.
So today iIremeber why it is not cool to stay up to 2 am when you are a mom. Your job never stops and unfortuatly you never get to sleep in (unlike my husband, who is still in bed :)
Much love,
Jessica
So last night they had a little shindig to get all the friends together and have a good time. We of course went :)
We took the twins with us, which was awesome. They were rockstars! They played for a while, ate, then cuddled with whomever wanted to cuddle and went to bed in their playpen with out a fuss. It was fantastic!
So since my babies were doing so well, I though "I don't need to rush home...I am just going to enjoy the company of my wondeful friends" and I did!
I think I might have pulled a abdominal muscle from laughing so hard, It was just a really fun night.
But needless to say, it did come to end. The babies woke up a little scared at 2 am in a new place, so the three of us headed back home. I got them back to sleep, and attempted to sleep myself. It was not easy at all! With the noise of the still ongoing party next door and the noise of my husband (who, god bless him, was trying to be quiet when he came home) I did not get very much sleep at all!
I finally fell asleep around 3:30 am, it felt wonderful. but my girls were not going to make it easy for me! Not 3 hours later were they up and ready for the day. They decided that today was going to be an early day.
So today iIremeber why it is not cool to stay up to 2 am when you are a mom. Your job never stops and unfortuatly you never get to sleep in (unlike my husband, who is still in bed :)
Much love,
Jessica
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Now I am a mom...
My twin girls are 8 and 1/2 monthes old. From the moment I met them I knew my life would never be the same, not only had I met the most beautiful little girls who I loved more then I actually thought was possible, I was now a mom. While I was pregnant I used the word mom so freely. (" can't wait to be a mom" "I am going to be the best mommy ever!"ect.) I didn't really undestand the strength of that word until I actually was given my two girls to hold and their lives were in my hands. For a while I wasn't quite sure if I was a good mom. I mean, people told me I was and that is was normal to feel inadequate when everything is all so new, but most times I just felt lost in the whole "mommy" world. I was so unberabley new to me. It scared me, I was just getting use to "Jess" now I had to be "Mommy Jess".
Let me paint you a picture of me before twins. I was a drama queen, I loved drama. I had been this way for as long as I can remeber. I loved hearing other peoples drama, I loved my own drama, I just loved drama! I would pick fights just to have the yelling match. I was a s*** disturber. I always wanted my way and would sulk if I didn't get it. I did my own thing whenever I felt like it. I loved my alone time. I enjoyed silence and loved to curl up on the couch on my days off and drift the day away reading a great book or watching great movies with court. I quickly learned that those qualties that I possessed did not jive well with infants.
The first three monthes of their lives I was a walking zombie. All new moms can atest to that. I did not care that I did not get to watch movies or have my alone time, or did I not worry about being a good mom, I was too damn tired to care about doing anything but functioning and making sure I kept my babies happy.
But once my beauties grew past that 4th trimester (the first 3 months of their lives) and became a little more like kids (aka: starting to sleep more at night and less in the day), and I was slowly becoming less zombie like, I started to miss the old me and my old life just a little bit. (Now let me make something clear, I loved my new life with the twins, but I was mourning something that was lost, and like any mourning period that was tough.)
I was starting to dwell on the past and trying to figure out ways to keep that old me alive while balancing a life with baby girls. That was frustrating. I was frustrated alot. Obviously babies do not care that you do not get that extra 30 minutes in the day to do a yoga class, check your emails or read your book. They are reactive. They react to how that are feeling, if they are hungry;they tell you, if they are tired;they tell you. This is all common sense, but when you are in a place where you just want it all (your old life with your undeniable freedom and you new life with two babies strapped to your hip) you can sometimes not see this. In this stage I just doubted my ability to be a good mom. I was always thinking people were judging me and my parenting style. I was constantly doubting myself. It was tough.
Slowly I just exhausted myself to a point were I broke down all those doubts, misunderstood concepts and judgements and started fresh. I realised that I am a mom, a good mom to my girls and that I can still be "Jess" just a new "Jess". I still have my interests and favorite things to do, but I just have a little less time to do them in and that is ok. I always have to remind myself not to try and do to much and just enjoy each moment with out trying to cross everything off of my to do list.
The girls helped me to mature. To change my selfish behaviours in to something productive and self-fulfilling. Maybe that is a part of what being a good mom is.
much love,
Jessica
Sunday, October 10, 2010
My many thanks.....
I love thanksgiving. It is such a great time to reflect and realize just how lucky we are. Every other day it is so easy to live life with shutters on, doing our day to day activities and dwelling to much on the "bad" things in out lives. But on Thanksgiving we are almost forced to sit down and reflect on what we are thankful for.
What am I thankful for?
A Wonderful Family, who make me understand love :)
A Wonderful husband, who makes me laugh :)
A Wonderful pair of girls, who make my life sparkle :)
A Wonderful group of friends, who make me live :)
A Wonderful place to live, that allows me to see beauty everywhere :)
My life is full of things to be thankful for. I am very lucky Girl.
Happy thanksgiving all :)
What are you thankful for?
With love,
Jessica
What am I thankful for?
A Wonderful Family, who make me understand love :)
A Wonderful husband, who makes me laugh :)
A Wonderful pair of girls, who make my life sparkle :)
A Wonderful group of friends, who make me live :)
A Wonderful place to live, that allows me to see beauty everywhere :)
My life is full of things to be thankful for. I am very lucky Girl.
Happy thanksgiving all :)
What are you thankful for?
With love,
Jessica
Friday, October 1, 2010
My New Yoga class!
I am teaching a yoga class in Almonte. I am very excited!
It is on Tuesday nights starting October 26th. It is a Goodnight Yin Class, starting at 8:15 pm. I am having it at the old town hall in the multipurpose room, it is a fantastic serene room. It has hardwood floors and looks out at the water. I could not have found a better location.
The focus of the class to relax and unwind the mind while allowing out bodies stretch and release. Yin yoga is also referred to as "quiet yoga". We focus on the "yin" of our bodies, most poses are down lying down or sitting on the mat and hold poses for 3-5 minutes. It is wonderful class and I recommend everyone to give it a try.
I can't wait to start this class, it is going to be a good one :)
If you are interested in attending, you can contact me at JessicaKennedyRMT@hotmail.com, but here is some more info below
GOODNIGHT YIN YOGA
where: Old Almonte Town Hall
when: Tuesday nights at 8:15 pm
(starting October 26th and running for 8 weeks)
price: $10 a class or $70 for the whole session.
Can't wait to see you!
Namaste,
Jessica
It is on Tuesday nights starting October 26th. It is a Goodnight Yin Class, starting at 8:15 pm. I am having it at the old town hall in the multipurpose room, it is a fantastic serene room. It has hardwood floors and looks out at the water. I could not have found a better location.
The focus of the class to relax and unwind the mind while allowing out bodies stretch and release. Yin yoga is also referred to as "quiet yoga". We focus on the "yin" of our bodies, most poses are down lying down or sitting on the mat and hold poses for 3-5 minutes. It is wonderful class and I recommend everyone to give it a try.
I can't wait to start this class, it is going to be a good one :)
If you are interested in attending, you can contact me at JessicaKennedyRMT@hotmail.com, but here is some more info below
GOODNIGHT YIN YOGA
where: Old Almonte Town Hall
when: Tuesday nights at 8:15 pm
(starting October 26th and running for 8 weeks)
price: $10 a class or $70 for the whole session.
Can't wait to see you!
Namaste,
Jessica
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
My high tech space of beauty...
I have never blogged before.
I have read lots of blogs but never have I written my own.
I am drawn to the idea of a blog, I always have been. I am a long time "journaller". It is so nice to record your thoughs, feelings, and ideas with no restrictions. For the longest time it was the one place I felt able to be creative. I do keep a written diary. I have been doing that since I was 13.
Almost as much as I love to write in my diary, I love to purchase and keep journals. Every time I check out a new little store (one of my favorite pastimes, discover locally owned jems :) I am drawn to notebooks.
I love to write in a pretty notebooks. There is something so mesmerizing about a blank notebook with a beautiful cover and spectacualar paper inside. It makes me seep with inspiration and creativity with all the wonderful thing I want to fill the book with.
I think that is what drew me to blogs. You create them. You design them. You add pictures. You make them beautiful. You get to surround your words and ideas with your own beauty. What can be more special.
So here I go, I am going to create a place for my words, in my own little high tech space of beauty.
Jessica
I have read lots of blogs but never have I written my own.
I am drawn to the idea of a blog, I always have been. I am a long time "journaller". It is so nice to record your thoughs, feelings, and ideas with no restrictions. For the longest time it was the one place I felt able to be creative. I do keep a written diary. I have been doing that since I was 13.
Almost as much as I love to write in my diary, I love to purchase and keep journals. Every time I check out a new little store (one of my favorite pastimes, discover locally owned jems :) I am drawn to notebooks.
I love to write in a pretty notebooks. There is something so mesmerizing about a blank notebook with a beautiful cover and spectacualar paper inside. It makes me seep with inspiration and creativity with all the wonderful thing I want to fill the book with.
I think that is what drew me to blogs. You create them. You design them. You add pictures. You make them beautiful. You get to surround your words and ideas with your own beauty. What can be more special.
So here I go, I am going to create a place for my words, in my own little high tech space of beauty.
Jessica
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