I woke up this morning to birds chirping outside.
We slept with our window open.
My side of the bed is directly under the window.
It is wonderful.
Spring is here!
I used to enjoy winter to an extent (before the girls arrived) but this winter I had a dreadful time.
Maybe it was the snow pants and boots for two one year old's or maybe I am just getting older and I have stopped most of the my winter activities (When I was younger I skied and snowboarded. Two expensive and time consuming activities.)
I just couldn't wait for winter's end this year.
Thank goodness it appears like we have made it through.
I believe spring is here.
A time for change and rejuvenation.
a time of change
a time of warmth
new life emerging from under sludge
the bright new colours
the bright long days
Spring is here
Hear my praise!
the world emerges
in its ballroom gown
for another chance to hit the town
the deep cold winter
has come and gone
as we sit back
and watch our new world
emerging through the ground
Change of seasons
our blessed gift
my favorite part about to hit
the change to warm and loving sun
with bright green grass
and colorful buds
with love and happy
feelings coming through
and all the warmth it brings to you.
Spring
my favorite time of year
rejuvenation and warmth
deep to my soul
I hope you all have wonderful day!
Much love,
Jessica
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Truth
I was re-reading my journal and found a poem a wrote.
It was written when I was in a 'darker' place.
This poem does not describe me today, but I wanted to share it.
Truth
My Mind,
This space,
This fear,
This sorrow
Hello my haphazard friend
welcome again
Have you come to turn me upside down?
Have you come to make me hurt?
I hate you
Your presence makes me cringe
though I know you make me whole
I wish you didn't exist
but with out you there is no counter
no joy
no love
no fulfillment
you inclusion in me burns
your presence cuts like daggers
I endure
because after you in light
air
happy existence
after you is truth
I am sharing with you the feeling of my sad place. A place that comes and goes with me.
I felt the need to share this today because today there is truth and light.
Today is not dark.
When I wrote this I was obviously hoping for today, my day of air.
It came, like it always will.
If you endure the light will come.
"In moments of discouragement, defeat, or even despair, there are always certain things to cling to. Little things usually: remembered laughter, the face of a sleeping child, a tree in the wind-in fact, any reminder of something deeply felt or dearly loved.
No man is so poor as not to have many of these small candles. When they are lighted, darkness goes away-and a touch of wonder remains."
- these small candles
I wish for you all a wonderful day full of truth and happy existence!
Much love,
Jessica
It was written when I was in a 'darker' place.
This poem does not describe me today, but I wanted to share it.
Truth
My Mind,
This space,
This fear,
This sorrow
Hello my haphazard friend
welcome again
Have you come to turn me upside down?
Have you come to make me hurt?
I hate you
Your presence makes me cringe
though I know you make me whole
I wish you didn't exist
but with out you there is no counter
no joy
no love
no fulfillment
you inclusion in me burns
your presence cuts like daggers
I endure
because after you in light
air
happy existence
after you is truth
I am sharing with you the feeling of my sad place. A place that comes and goes with me.
I felt the need to share this today because today there is truth and light.
Today is not dark.
When I wrote this I was obviously hoping for today, my day of air.
It came, like it always will.
If you endure the light will come.
"In moments of discouragement, defeat, or even despair, there are always certain things to cling to. Little things usually: remembered laughter, the face of a sleeping child, a tree in the wind-in fact, any reminder of something deeply felt or dearly loved.
No man is so poor as not to have many of these small candles. When they are lighted, darkness goes away-and a touch of wonder remains."
- these small candles
I wish for you all a wonderful day full of truth and happy existence!
Much love,
Jessica
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
My new favorite product!
This isn't my usual style for a blog post but I have to rave about this new product I tried.
For those who know me well know that I have terrible eczema.
I struggle with it everyday, and it is at its worst on my hands. The crack, they burn, and they hurt all the time. My hands are constantly in pain due to the dryness. Sometimes when I would hold a pen to write in my journal, cook dinner or change the babies diapers, my hands would burn so bad that I would cry.
I have tried numerous skin products, prescriptions and changes to my diet (I cut out all dairy for 3 weeks to see if that would help it. Minimal change to the skin issues but I did find that with less dairy in my diet my stomach felt better then it had in years, go figure!)
Nothing seemed to work.
I was truly going to give up hope.
Just learn to deal with it.
Accept that my hands will always be in pain.
Live in that state.
and then I found it....
My saving grace!
It all began last week when Lindsay and I watched a 'marketplace' episode on so called 'natural skin products' on the market and what was really in our lotions and creams. The results were truly surprising. Especially for the babies products. It really got me thinking about what I put on the girls. I though I was doing well by using Avenno baby products. I had did some research and decided to avoid 'johnsons and johnsons' due the ingredients and simply due to the fact that when I put it on the babies it burned my hands like nothing I have ever felt before. I assumed Avenno was a good choice, by low and behold, Avenno is owned my 'johnsons and johnsons'. The ingredients are not much different.
I was on a mission to find something for my girls that was natural. I am not to concerned about organic, I simply was searching for something natural. A cream/lotion/oil that used products that their bodies would recognise and absorb properly.
I tried a few places that sold natural and organic products and found some soaps and shampoos for the babies. I even found a locally made goats milk soap for me. I was successful, but I still hadn't found a moisturizer for them.
I decided to stop into my new favorite store, Soul Scents in Almonte. I browsed the store for a bit, had a great conversation with Sara, and found a skin care line that I was hoping I would love.
It is called badger balm . I bought a tin of balm for the babies and a tin for me.
The ingredients are so simple and wonderful. The main ingredients are organic extra virgin olive oil and bees wax. Each variation of balm differs in essential oils (The balm I bought for myself is called 'yoga and meditation' and contains cedarwood, Mandarin, sandalwood, ginger, frankincense, vertivert, calendula, rosehip and myrrh. It smells amazing.)
There is nothing else in it. The two oils and essential oils.
It is incredible.
I have been using the balm on my hands and body and I truly cannot put into words how fantastic it is working. This morning I woke up with out dryness in my hands.
I have not felt that in months!
I am very happy today!
My hands don't hurt and I didn't realize how much that affected my mood!
If any of you struggle with dry skin, eczema or are just looking for a new skin products that leaves out the chemicals and unknowns and is a little more 'real', I highly recommend checking out badger balm.
It is amazing!
As crude a weapon as the cave man's club, the chemical barrage has been hurled against the fabric of life.
- Rachel Carson
I hope you all have a wondeful day!
Much love,
Jessica
For those who know me well know that I have terrible eczema.
I struggle with it everyday, and it is at its worst on my hands. The crack, they burn, and they hurt all the time. My hands are constantly in pain due to the dryness. Sometimes when I would hold a pen to write in my journal, cook dinner or change the babies diapers, my hands would burn so bad that I would cry.
I have tried numerous skin products, prescriptions and changes to my diet (I cut out all dairy for 3 weeks to see if that would help it. Minimal change to the skin issues but I did find that with less dairy in my diet my stomach felt better then it had in years, go figure!)
Nothing seemed to work.
I was truly going to give up hope.
Just learn to deal with it.
Accept that my hands will always be in pain.
Live in that state.
and then I found it....
My saving grace!
It all began last week when Lindsay and I watched a 'marketplace' episode on so called 'natural skin products' on the market and what was really in our lotions and creams. The results were truly surprising. Especially for the babies products. It really got me thinking about what I put on the girls. I though I was doing well by using Avenno baby products. I had did some research and decided to avoid 'johnsons and johnsons' due the ingredients and simply due to the fact that when I put it on the babies it burned my hands like nothing I have ever felt before. I assumed Avenno was a good choice, by low and behold, Avenno is owned my 'johnsons and johnsons'. The ingredients are not much different.
I was on a mission to find something for my girls that was natural. I am not to concerned about organic, I simply was searching for something natural. A cream/lotion/oil that used products that their bodies would recognise and absorb properly.
I tried a few places that sold natural and organic products and found some soaps and shampoos for the babies. I even found a locally made goats milk soap for me. I was successful, but I still hadn't found a moisturizer for them.
I decided to stop into my new favorite store, Soul Scents in Almonte. I browsed the store for a bit, had a great conversation with Sara, and found a skin care line that I was hoping I would love.
It is called badger balm . I bought a tin of balm for the babies and a tin for me.
The ingredients are so simple and wonderful. The main ingredients are organic extra virgin olive oil and bees wax. Each variation of balm differs in essential oils (The balm I bought for myself is called 'yoga and meditation' and contains cedarwood, Mandarin, sandalwood, ginger, frankincense, vertivert, calendula, rosehip and myrrh. It smells amazing.)
There is nothing else in it. The two oils and essential oils.
It is incredible.
I have been using the balm on my hands and body and I truly cannot put into words how fantastic it is working. This morning I woke up with out dryness in my hands.
I have not felt that in months!
I am very happy today!
My hands don't hurt and I didn't realize how much that affected my mood!
If any of you struggle with dry skin, eczema or are just looking for a new skin products that leaves out the chemicals and unknowns and is a little more 'real', I highly recommend checking out badger balm.
It is amazing!
As crude a weapon as the cave man's club, the chemical barrage has been hurled against the fabric of life.
- Rachel Carson
I hope you all have a wondeful day!
Much love,
Jessica
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
A little peace through reading
I just put my babies down for a morning rest.
Before every nap/rest and before bedtime, I have started reading them a chapter from a childrens novel.
I used to do this when they were first brought home.
I think I did it then to save my sanity.
You see, I love to talk and I found the long days alone with the girls while they still slept for 18 hours in the day were tough for me.
So I would read.
I read out loud.
Anything at all, just to keep my sanity.
I stopped doing this when the girls were able to move. They would crawl all over me and try to steal the books and rip the pages. It was too frustrating to always be moving the book and fend off attack babies.
So we stopped this beloved practice.
I decided to start it again just recently.
You see, a couple week ago a new phase for my children set in. They have become very sensitive (especially Chloe). The cry alot more and alot louder. If you look at them the wrong way they will scream bloody murder, and you don't even want to know what happens if we tell them no.
They scream more and steal each other toys, southers and blankets.
They will cry if I walk out of a room even for the slightest second.
Choas ensues when myself, Court or my parents actually leaves the house without them.
They get themselves all in a tizzy.
It can be very hard to get them to calm down.
At this point I will try anything to keep the peace and calm energy in my house.
So I started reading novels to them again.
Not in the conventional way, where the little ones sit in your lap calmly and happy while you read a book to them. i doubt my children will ever be able to do that.
I do it in a much more logical way.
I plunk them in their crib and sit far enough away that they cannot grab the pages of the book.
Sometimes they cry, fuss or scream and I just keep reading.
Each day the crying last less and less.
The calmness of my voice and consistency of the dialogue seems to get them to calm down. They even lie down with thier duckie or bear-bear and relax.
It can be quite nice.
Calm and peaceful.
and if it is only for story time that I get peace for the day, then it is worth it.
It is better then nothing.
This morning we just finished 'Charlotte's Web'.
I forgot how fantastic that book is.
It is deep, philosphical and simply just cute.
Next I think we will read 'The BFG' by Roald Dahl.
"This hallowed doorway was once the home of Charlotte. She was brilliant, beautiful, and loyal to the end. Her memory will be treasured forever."
-Charlottes Web (EB White)
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
Much love,
Jessica
Before every nap/rest and before bedtime, I have started reading them a chapter from a childrens novel.
I used to do this when they were first brought home.
I think I did it then to save my sanity.
You see, I love to talk and I found the long days alone with the girls while they still slept for 18 hours in the day were tough for me.
So I would read.
I read out loud.
Anything at all, just to keep my sanity.
I stopped doing this when the girls were able to move. They would crawl all over me and try to steal the books and rip the pages. It was too frustrating to always be moving the book and fend off attack babies.
So we stopped this beloved practice.
I decided to start it again just recently.
You see, a couple week ago a new phase for my children set in. They have become very sensitive (especially Chloe). The cry alot more and alot louder. If you look at them the wrong way they will scream bloody murder, and you don't even want to know what happens if we tell them no.
They scream more and steal each other toys, southers and blankets.
They will cry if I walk out of a room even for the slightest second.
Choas ensues when myself, Court or my parents actually leaves the house without them.
They get themselves all in a tizzy.
It can be very hard to get them to calm down.
At this point I will try anything to keep the peace and calm energy in my house.
So I started reading novels to them again.
Not in the conventional way, where the little ones sit in your lap calmly and happy while you read a book to them. i doubt my children will ever be able to do that.
I do it in a much more logical way.
I plunk them in their crib and sit far enough away that they cannot grab the pages of the book.
Sometimes they cry, fuss or scream and I just keep reading.
Each day the crying last less and less.
The calmness of my voice and consistency of the dialogue seems to get them to calm down. They even lie down with thier duckie or bear-bear and relax.
It can be quite nice.
Calm and peaceful.
and if it is only for story time that I get peace for the day, then it is worth it.
It is better then nothing.
This morning we just finished 'Charlotte's Web'.
I forgot how fantastic that book is.
It is deep, philosphical and simply just cute.
Next I think we will read 'The BFG' by Roald Dahl.
"This hallowed doorway was once the home of Charlotte. She was brilliant, beautiful, and loyal to the end. Her memory will be treasured forever."
-Charlottes Web (EB White)
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
Much love,
Jessica
Monday, March 21, 2011
Ice cream girls
I though I would share this picture.
It is of the girls last night eating their first ice cream cone.
Banana Ice cream!
Delish!
It is of the girls last night eating their first ice cream cone.
Banana Ice cream!
Delish!
My love
Life as a mom with twins,
Stressful, busy, chaotic and always so full.
Full of noise, full of toys, full of joy!
I always feel like I am running on a treadmill. Never completly getting everything done that is needed and always striving to do better.
I am always busy.
Being a a mom of twins is one of the biggest accomplishments of my life.
It is a postion that was easy to recieve but is a challenge everyday.
I strive to be a good mom. To be a loving mom. To be a happy mom.
This can come easy, but somedays I need to push.
I need to not give up.
I am not allowed to wallow.
I am not allowed to cave.
I am not allowed to give up.
My girls depend on me.
They are my life.
My soul
My love
Stressful, busy, chaotic and always so full.
Full of noise, full of toys, full of joy!
I always feel like I am running on a treadmill. Never completly getting everything done that is needed and always striving to do better.
I am always busy.
Being a a mom of twins is one of the biggest accomplishments of my life.
It is a postion that was easy to recieve but is a challenge everyday.
Some days the challenege is difficult, hard to catch the flow, tough to stay afloat. Other days seem to come organically and naturally, like and old pair of shoes that I can slip right into. Everyday seems to elicit new struggles and new adventures.
Being a mom of twins is a pactice of will poer and strength. I push myself furthur then I used to. I strive to be a good mom. To be a loving mom. To be a happy mom.
This can come easy, but somedays I need to push.
I need to not give up.
I am not allowed to wallow.
I am not allowed to cave.
I am not allowed to give up.
My girls depend on me.
They are my life.
My soul
My love
Children make you want to start life over. ~Muhammad Ali
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
much love,
Jessica
Saturday, March 19, 2011
poetry
I have been writing alot of poetry this last few weeks. It has taken all my writing away from the blog. I would post everyday becasue I have been writing everyday, but I find I am much more lenient with posting all my poetry. I think I become more attached to my poems then just my blog posts. I just can bear they idea of them being judged. They are personal, they are truly me.
But either way, I did post a recent poem I wrote...
Hope you enjoy, don't be too tough, I am no professional.
Memories held in time
Those moments
held with pure joy
in the web of memory
their delicate existence
their wanting desire
they come in an instant
leave with no questions
moments I will always remeber
moments like this
how I feel
how I change
how they make me be
moments with you
I will never forget
Hope you have a wondeful day!
Much love,
Jessica
But either way, I did post a recent poem I wrote...
Hope you enjoy, don't be too tough, I am no professional.
Memories held in time
Those moments
held with pure joy
in the web of memory
their delicate existence
their wanting desire
they come in an instant
leave with no questions
moments I will always remeber
moments like this
how I feel
how I change
how they make me be
moments with you
I will never forget
Hope you have a wondeful day!
Much love,
Jessica
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
your gift of unique existence
as the words unfold
the stories flow outwards
the aura of perfection
the light of envy
they all go away
they all drift into the atmosphere
we are all the same
you and I
we all struggle for the same cause
we all search for the same treasures
our divine purpose is congruent
though our individual journey is truly our own
our gift to our existence
I wrote this last night. After working and talking with clients, it hit me that truly we are all the same. Sometimes in life we want what others have, the appearance of others life and accomplishments may seem more extensive then ours. We thrive with envy at times to be in the light of perfection of the ones we know and love, but truly we are all the same. We all struggle towards the same outcome but our journey just have different paths. That is what makes our lives truly unique. The purpose is the same the trip is just different.
Honor your individual journey. It truly is special.
I hope you have a wonderful day!
Much love,
Jessica
the stories flow outwards
the aura of perfection
the light of envy
they all go away
they all drift into the atmosphere
we are all the same
you and I
we all struggle for the same cause
we all search for the same treasures
our divine purpose is congruent
though our individual journey is truly our own
our gift to our existence
I wrote this last night. After working and talking with clients, it hit me that truly we are all the same. Sometimes in life we want what others have, the appearance of others life and accomplishments may seem more extensive then ours. We thrive with envy at times to be in the light of perfection of the ones we know and love, but truly we are all the same. We all struggle towards the same outcome but our journey just have different paths. That is what makes our lives truly unique. The purpose is the same the trip is just different.
Honor your individual journey. It truly is special.
I hope you have a wonderful day!
Much love,
Jessica
Monday, March 14, 2011
The power of love
Last night we decided to go for an 'after dinner walk'. There was still daylight at 6:00 pm, it was truly wonderful.
We had to stop at the movie store and drop off some late rentals. While we were there, I decided I was going to rent a movie and have a movie night myself while court watched hockey. I rented "Love and other drugs" with Jake Gyllenhall (oh how I love to watch movies with him!) and Anne Hathaway.
I absolutely loved it!
I haven't watched a romantic movie in a few weeks, and this movie hit just the right spot.
I am a romantic.
I love movies in which people fall in love and realize the intensity of that love. I love happy endings and cheesy lines. I love tears and heartfelt monologues.
I love it all!
Love is such a powerful emotion. All kinds of love. It seems to resonates so true to all of us. Everyone seems to have their own intensity in feeling love but we all crave it. We all want it to be given to us, and we all want to give it back.
Hollywood Blockbusters exaggerate love. It is like romance on steroids. Maybe that is why some people hate romantic movies, because they don't reign true to real life. But I think that is why I love them.
They are exagerated versions of real life. They intensify the dynamic of romantic love and make you feel passionately strong for 90 minutes. They strongly envelope you with feelings of love. They remind you of your own feelings.
What would we do with out the cheesy love movies to remind us to live with love?
"Love and other drugs" was just what I needed last night. It allowed me to connect with that inner romantic in me (I needed to connect to that inner romantic and be a little nicer after my meltdown regarding my Costco trip yesterday, but that is for another time!)
I've never known anyone who actually believe that I was enough until I met you. And then you made me believe it too.
Jamie Randall "Love and other drugs"
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
Much Love,
Jessica
We had to stop at the movie store and drop off some late rentals. While we were there, I decided I was going to rent a movie and have a movie night myself while court watched hockey. I rented "Love and other drugs" with Jake Gyllenhall (oh how I love to watch movies with him!) and Anne Hathaway.
I absolutely loved it!
I haven't watched a romantic movie in a few weeks, and this movie hit just the right spot.
I am a romantic.
I love movies in which people fall in love and realize the intensity of that love. I love happy endings and cheesy lines. I love tears and heartfelt monologues.
I love it all!
Love is such a powerful emotion. All kinds of love. It seems to resonates so true to all of us. Everyone seems to have their own intensity in feeling love but we all crave it. We all want it to be given to us, and we all want to give it back.
Hollywood Blockbusters exaggerate love. It is like romance on steroids. Maybe that is why some people hate romantic movies, because they don't reign true to real life. But I think that is why I love them.
They are exagerated versions of real life. They intensify the dynamic of romantic love and make you feel passionately strong for 90 minutes. They strongly envelope you with feelings of love. They remind you of your own feelings.
What would we do with out the cheesy love movies to remind us to live with love?
"Love and other drugs" was just what I needed last night. It allowed me to connect with that inner romantic in me (I needed to connect to that inner romantic and be a little nicer after my meltdown regarding my Costco trip yesterday, but that is for another time!)
I've never known anyone who actually believe that I was enough until I met you. And then you made me believe it too.
Jamie Randall "Love and other drugs"
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
Much Love,
Jessica
Saturday, March 12, 2011
we will all still be friends
It is 7:01 am. I slept in. But I am still gonna blog before my babies get up.
Last night We had a shower for my lovely bestie Ashley. It was awesome. She seemed so happy. We ate delicious food, drank some wine and chatted. There truly is nothing like a good girls night to renergizre your soul.
I love my girls!
It was a spectacular night.
I cannot wait till the next one!
“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”
I am going to keep this short, Courtney wants Tim Hortons and he says he is too sick to go get it. I guess I need to head to timmy's.
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
Much love,
Jessica
Last night We had a shower for my lovely bestie Ashley. It was awesome. She seemed so happy. We ate delicious food, drank some wine and chatted. There truly is nothing like a good girls night to renergizre your soul.
I love my girls!
It was a spectacular night.
I cannot wait till the next one!
“Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends.”
I am going to keep this short, Courtney wants Tim Hortons and he says he is too sick to go get it. I guess I need to head to timmy's.
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
Much love,
Jessica
Friday, March 11, 2011
the sun still shines
The Rainy Day
The day is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
The vine still clings to the moldering wall,
But at every gust the dead leaves fall,
And the day is dark and dreary.
My life is cold, and dark, and dreary;
It rains, and the wind is never weary;
My thoughts still cling to the moldering Past,
But the hopes of youth fall thick in the blast
And the days are dark and dreary.
Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.
(Written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow)
What a great poem for a day like today!
Some rainy days are great, you can curl up with a good book under a warm blanket and drift the day away. But today does not feel like that kind of rainy day.
This kinda rainy day is no fun for anyone.
You can't get outside and enjoy the beauty of March in the Ottawa valley!(and in my case if you have two active boys aged 4 and 2 coming to spend the day with us, this could be a problem!)
The house feel dark and more drafty.
The lack of sun makes you feel a little low.
Rainy days can easily get you down.
But I love how this poem reminds you the sun is soon to come, 'behind the clouds is the sun still shining'.
I hope you all have a wonderful day, despite the rain!
Much love,
Jessica
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
learn to enjoy my journey
Do you ever have those weeks where you feel like there is so much to do and just not enough time to do it all in?
That is my week.
So many things to do!
Where will I find the time?
In the past I would write everything on a list and just try to power through the list as quickly as possible. I have this lingering fear of forgetting to do something that is required. The fear overwhelms me so much that I try to do everything quickly so I know I don't forget anything. I always ended up feeling extremely overwhelmed and exhausted. I would end up breaking down and disappearing in a angry/sad state.
But this week will be different.
I am going to really try this week to take it one step at a time.
One day at a time.
One task at a time.
No worries, no stress, no power lists.
Hopefully this will allow me to stay relaxed and calm. Maybe I will even enjoy the beauty of the journey. I know how much I love the feeling of completed tasks, I need to enjoy the adventure to get there.
"Enjoy the journey, enjoy the moment and quit worrying about winning or losing."
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
Much love,
Jessica
That is my week.
So many things to do!
Where will I find the time?
In the past I would write everything on a list and just try to power through the list as quickly as possible. I have this lingering fear of forgetting to do something that is required. The fear overwhelms me so much that I try to do everything quickly so I know I don't forget anything. I always ended up feeling extremely overwhelmed and exhausted. I would end up breaking down and disappearing in a angry/sad state.
But this week will be different.
I am going to really try this week to take it one step at a time.
One day at a time.
One task at a time.
No worries, no stress, no power lists.
Hopefully this will allow me to stay relaxed and calm. Maybe I will even enjoy the beauty of the journey. I know how much I love the feeling of completed tasks, I need to enjoy the adventure to get there.
"Enjoy the journey, enjoy the moment and quit worrying about winning or losing."
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
Much love,
Jessica
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
watching the habit unfold
I have been feeling a bit of "blogger's block" lately. I don't know what to write about. But I do know that writing is very important for my happiness, so even if it isn't that great or it isn't very long, I need to write. So bare with me today's blog might be a little scattered and simple.
I am trying this new thing.
No alarm clock.
I am going to let my body wake up naturally. I want to train my body to wake up at the appropriate time I need. With this, we have a few days/weeks of adjustment, so I woke a bit late. I got up at 5:45. I like to wake up at 5:00 am, so I guess not bad.
Well after showering and dressing it was already 6:15, I heard the wee ladies. They woke up earlier today. I got them dressed and ready and came down stairs. I thought I would turn on some "Caillou" while I got breakfast ready, since I did not have a chance to prep myself this morning.
We turned on the TV and it was on "The Early show". I caught the segment on Charlie Sheen and his latest episode. He posted a web video last night. He looked liked death and sounded lost and mixed up.
He is making me feel sad.
I know his comments and episodes are slightly humorous to a sober mind, don't get me wrong, I laughed at the recent SNL skit about Charlie Sheen and his craziness. But to him I think what he is saying and doing all makes sense to him.
It is terrible to watch, but unfortunately it is like a train wreck, you just can't seem to turn away.
If you have ever had the responsibility to be in a relationship (child, parent, friend or partner) with a narcissistic addict I think you will relate to the sadness that is felt as you watch someone become slightly insane due to addiction. It feels all to familiar. Watching someone lose themselves in addiction is a terribly painful thing that in most cases you can't do anything about.
Watching Sheen in the public eye spiral to complete lose of self due to addiction is awful and painful. I truly hope it stops soon.
~ You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living until the escape becomes the habit. ~
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
Much love,
Jessica
I am trying this new thing.
No alarm clock.
I am going to let my body wake up naturally. I want to train my body to wake up at the appropriate time I need. With this, we have a few days/weeks of adjustment, so I woke a bit late. I got up at 5:45. I like to wake up at 5:00 am, so I guess not bad.
Well after showering and dressing it was already 6:15, I heard the wee ladies. They woke up earlier today. I got them dressed and ready and came down stairs. I thought I would turn on some "Caillou" while I got breakfast ready, since I did not have a chance to prep myself this morning.
We turned on the TV and it was on "The Early show". I caught the segment on Charlie Sheen and his latest episode. He posted a web video last night. He looked liked death and sounded lost and mixed up.
He is making me feel sad.
I know his comments and episodes are slightly humorous to a sober mind, don't get me wrong, I laughed at the recent SNL skit about Charlie Sheen and his craziness. But to him I think what he is saying and doing all makes sense to him.
It is terrible to watch, but unfortunately it is like a train wreck, you just can't seem to turn away.
If you have ever had the responsibility to be in a relationship (child, parent, friend or partner) with a narcissistic addict I think you will relate to the sadness that is felt as you watch someone become slightly insane due to addiction. It feels all to familiar. Watching someone lose themselves in addiction is a terribly painful thing that in most cases you can't do anything about.
Watching Sheen in the public eye spiral to complete lose of self due to addiction is awful and painful. I truly hope it stops soon.
~ You do anything long enough to escape the habit of living until the escape becomes the habit. ~
I hope you all have a wonderful day!
Much love,
Jessica
Saturday, March 5, 2011
My spirit is grey
I haven't really been blogging much this week, just like last week. I have been sleeping in. I truly do hate sleeping in. I never feel any more rested, if anything I am grumpier. I am going to try my best ot not let sleeping in happen next week.
But this has been a tough week.
My babies are sick.
They have croup.
I thought croup was a very serious thing, it sounds serious, but it isn't as frightening as it sounds. It can become quite bad if fevers start to spike and breathing becomes laboured, so we have to keep a very close eye on them. Right now they just have a deep (seems to be painful) cough, a sore throat and lots of mucous.
Mucus is awful when you are a wee gaper. You have not developed the skills of blowing your nose or spitting out mucous you have coughed up, so you just end up swallowing it. When they swallow it the choke a little. It is awful (and sometimes scary) to hear.
My poor wee things.
And on top of it all, I am sick now too. I don't have croup (I don't think adults can get croup?! but I have a nasty cold)
Bah!
I am slowly realized that babies/kids are sponges for germs. This is our first true winter with kids and I have been sick more this winter then any other.
This morning I feel like a bag of crap.
And it is Saturday, which mean I have to work in the city all day today. I am not really looking forward to that. But I will say, working at the spa all day is hands down easier then working with my babies. (though I still love staying with my girls better then working anywhere else :)
With the way I am feeling today, I am glad I woke up to blog, writing always makes me feel a little better but I don't have anything enlightening or interesting to talk about this morning.
I am slightly grumpy and my throat hurts a ton. So basically, I am being a major whiner.
I am also feeling bummed because I missed one on my best girlfriend's birthday dinners last night.
I am glad I stayed home to with my little ladies, if I left them I would have been worried all night. Also I am glad I stayed home for me, as I felt crappy and went to bed at 8:30 pm. But I am sad I missed it. I was looking forward to celebrating her 26th birthday with her and seeing my friends. I hope they all had a good time :)
Oh, the life of a mom!
I might as well get used to it, right? I don't always get what I want or get to do what I want anymore. I have two little ones who come first.
Nature always wears the colors of the spirit.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
I better change my spirit a bit today. If the quote speaks the truth, I feel I am looking a little grey.
I wish you a colorful day!
Much love,
Jessica
But this has been a tough week.
My babies are sick.
They have croup.
I thought croup was a very serious thing, it sounds serious, but it isn't as frightening as it sounds. It can become quite bad if fevers start to spike and breathing becomes laboured, so we have to keep a very close eye on them. Right now they just have a deep (seems to be painful) cough, a sore throat and lots of mucous.
Mucus is awful when you are a wee gaper. You have not developed the skills of blowing your nose or spitting out mucous you have coughed up, so you just end up swallowing it. When they swallow it the choke a little. It is awful (and sometimes scary) to hear.
My poor wee things.
And on top of it all, I am sick now too. I don't have croup (I don't think adults can get croup?! but I have a nasty cold)
Bah!
I am slowly realized that babies/kids are sponges for germs. This is our first true winter with kids and I have been sick more this winter then any other.
This morning I feel like a bag of crap.
And it is Saturday, which mean I have to work in the city all day today. I am not really looking forward to that. But I will say, working at the spa all day is hands down easier then working with my babies. (though I still love staying with my girls better then working anywhere else :)
With the way I am feeling today, I am glad I woke up to blog, writing always makes me feel a little better but I don't have anything enlightening or interesting to talk about this morning.
I am slightly grumpy and my throat hurts a ton. So basically, I am being a major whiner.
I am also feeling bummed because I missed one on my best girlfriend's birthday dinners last night.
I am glad I stayed home to with my little ladies, if I left them I would have been worried all night. Also I am glad I stayed home for me, as I felt crappy and went to bed at 8:30 pm. But I am sad I missed it. I was looking forward to celebrating her 26th birthday with her and seeing my friends. I hope they all had a good time :)
Oh, the life of a mom!
I might as well get used to it, right? I don't always get what I want or get to do what I want anymore. I have two little ones who come first.
Nature always wears the colors of the spirit.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
I better change my spirit a bit today. If the quote speaks the truth, I feel I am looking a little grey.
I wish you a colorful day!
Much love,
Jessica
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Intuition
Intuition on a winter morning
the cool air fills my lungs
travel down to my belly
It recharges
fills me with fresh clarity
I trust you,
I say
I will listen to you
believe in you
love your choice
how can I not?
you know me best
I hope you have a wonderful day!
Much Love
Jessica
the cool air fills my lungs
travel down to my belly
It recharges
fills me with fresh clarity
I trust you,
I say
I will listen to you
believe in you
love your choice
how can I not?
you know me best
I hope you have a wonderful day!
Much Love
Jessica
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
They pushed furthur and allowed life to open up for me.
This weekend we had a discussion about what it would be like to have had the childhood of my grandparents, growing up in Canada in war time.
What would life have been like with no men around (as most were gone to war)? especially in a time that so many women relyed on there husband for support and strength.
How hard would it have been to watch the man you love, you precious son or your father go half way across the world, maybe to never return?
What it was like to live off rations? To not be able to get whatever you needed, whenever you needed it. To sometimes not have enough to feed your children. How would that feel? As a parent and as a child.
It had to have been hard for children to be forced to become an adults with adult responsibilities so early in life. It must have been equally hard for mothers, to stay strong for their children and allow then abandon their childhood.
Life in my grandparents 'childhood era' could not have been easy.
It makes me feel a little guilty for the complaining I do. I actually makes me understand the looks my grandma gives me when I am complaining about my life. Almost like I can see in her eyes that she just wants to shake me and tell me that what I am worried about is really nothing.
In comparison to their lives, my life it like a walk in the park. Though my husband and I do not have alot of money we have more then enough to provide for our children. We don't have to save rations to buy sugar or butter, we can easily provide that to ourselves and families. Even as children we had everything we needed. We have a warm house, clothes and food and have always been provided with that.
We have become slightly spoiled.
I think when I feel entitlement (that seems to be common in my generation), I should remember my grandparents and my great grandparents and what it was like for them. The struggles they went through to simply provide for their children or to have a carefree childhood. What life was like when you really didn't know what was coming next.
I am truly blessed to still have most of my grandparents still around. I think I need to hear their stories more and grasp just what it was like to grow up when they did.
The struggles and challenges that they endured were endured for me. They pushed through to make a better life for their children, who then did the same for their own children.
I am the byproduct of that.
I am generations down the line from people who conqured the challeneges and endured hardtimes to make life easier for their offspring.
Thank you for that. My life is blessed because of what you did.
The hardship of life challenge our spirits and allow us to be stronger. They push to go furthur and change the way it is.
I wish you all a wonderful day!
Much Love
Jessica
What would life have been like with no men around (as most were gone to war)? especially in a time that so many women relyed on there husband for support and strength.
How hard would it have been to watch the man you love, you precious son or your father go half way across the world, maybe to never return?
What it was like to live off rations? To not be able to get whatever you needed, whenever you needed it. To sometimes not have enough to feed your children. How would that feel? As a parent and as a child.
It had to have been hard for children to be forced to become an adults with adult responsibilities so early in life. It must have been equally hard for mothers, to stay strong for their children and allow then abandon their childhood.
Life in my grandparents 'childhood era' could not have been easy.
It makes me feel a little guilty for the complaining I do. I actually makes me understand the looks my grandma gives me when I am complaining about my life. Almost like I can see in her eyes that she just wants to shake me and tell me that what I am worried about is really nothing.
In comparison to their lives, my life it like a walk in the park. Though my husband and I do not have alot of money we have more then enough to provide for our children. We don't have to save rations to buy sugar or butter, we can easily provide that to ourselves and families. Even as children we had everything we needed. We have a warm house, clothes and food and have always been provided with that.
We have become slightly spoiled.
I think when I feel entitlement (that seems to be common in my generation), I should remember my grandparents and my great grandparents and what it was like for them. The struggles they went through to simply provide for their children or to have a carefree childhood. What life was like when you really didn't know what was coming next.
I am truly blessed to still have most of my grandparents still around. I think I need to hear their stories more and grasp just what it was like to grow up when they did.
The struggles and challenges that they endured were endured for me. They pushed through to make a better life for their children, who then did the same for their own children.
I am the byproduct of that.
I am generations down the line from people who conqured the challeneges and endured hardtimes to make life easier for their offspring.
Thank you for that. My life is blessed because of what you did.
The hardship of life challenge our spirits and allow us to be stronger. They push to go furthur and change the way it is.
I wish you all a wonderful day!
Much Love
Jessica
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